About IFS
What is Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy?
IFS is a non-pathologizing, trauma-informed, and evidence-based therapy that can help you to understand and heal your inner world.
The lens of IFS understands humans to be made up of a system of protective parts that are led by your core Self. Parts can get hurt and forced into extreme roles, and IFS therapy is a process of helping one to connect with their parts and their core Self in order to understand and heal their system.
IFS can be particularly helpful when:
- You feel stuck or conflicted — you may have protective parts pulling you in different directions. IFS will allow you to connect with these parts, understand their concerns, and help you make a decision that aligns with what your true Self wants.
- You've experienced trauma — IFS can be a gentle, compassionate, and safe way to work with parts that carry trauma, pain, and intense feelings.
- You want to improve your relationships — gaining an understanding of how your parts react and respond to other people and why they do so can help you re-shape how you interact with others, and feel more connected and calm as you do so.
- Talk therapy hasn't worked for you — maybe traditional talk therapy has not allowed you to go deep enough and access your internal world. Or maybe the idea of talking about traumatic or painful experiences feels too overwhelming. IFS provides an effective structure that allows you both to connect deeply with your inner hurt parts from a place of calm, curious, and compassionate energy.
What does it look like?
Working with protector parts
Think of a time when you've felt angry. Maybe you felt the anger through your whole body; in that moment you feel like your entire being is angry, and all you can do is react in anger. But it's likely that's not who you are most of the time. There's likely times when you're calm and happy. IFS is a way to get some breathing room from that anger, and to understand it as a part but not the whole of you. You'll learn to recognize when parts get activated, to understand why it felt the need to take over the way it did, and to find other ways to stay grounded in your calm Self in times when your angry part might unintentionally cause more harm than help. Protector parts can look many different ways — like anxiety, anger, or depression, or even things like perfectionism, distraction, overworking, etc. None of them are bad; all of them exist to try and take care of you. Sometimes they just need a bit of adjustment.
Building a relationship with Self
IFS believes that every human has a Self at their core. They are born with this, and it never goes away. Much like the sun in the sky, it is always present though at times can become covered by clouds (your protector parts) and hard to feel. This is often what happens when one experiences trauma. The Self is characterized by 8 characteristics: calm, compassion, curiosity, confidence, creativity, connectedness, courage, and clarity. Through IFS, you will practice connecting with your Self and building a trusting relationship between your protective parts and your Self, so they no longer have to work so hard to keep you safe.
Working with exiles
Trauma can be any experience that threatens your system because you don't have safety, choice, or control. When one experiences trauma, vulnerable parts of them get hurt and protectors get forced into more extreme roles. IFS allows you to work directly with the parts that are carrying the trauma, and to treat your whole system rather than just managing symptoms.